Practice and Timeliness

On the other hand, with all of my luck in leaving my lights on over this past week, I have, at least, become quite skilled at removing the battery of my bike.

(I have also found a mechanic shop that is about a five minute walk away, so I can come to work a bit early, pull my battery out, walk it over, and then hopefully pick it up by the time I get off work.)


(I probably shouldn’t have a routine for when my battery dies.)


(I’m gonna work on that one.)

Lights Out

What blogger has two thumbs and a *serious* need to stop fucking leaving their goddamn keys in the ignition with the fucking lights on?


Oh yeah.


*This* kid, right here.


At least this time I have all of the tools (and experience) with pulling my battery out.


Dear Shadow,

I *will* take care of you properly.

It just hasn’t seemed like it lately.

I love you!

– Your scattered mess of a rider.


Bar Room Television

I am the only bartender at my place of work.

What does this mean?

It means that *I* control the television.

It’s *beautiful*.

(It’s also really funny, because I lot of the shit that I would usually watch is actually not available? And like. I watch * PBS specials*, but the hotel T.V.s don’t have PBS?

I dunno. It’s really fucking weird, and completely hilarious.)



The hotel televisions *do* have about twelve different sport channels, and the Science Channel.

Which has become what I have on *ALL THE TIME*.


Like. I get the *best* conversations, because folk’ll come in for a drink, and then I’ll have ‘How It’s Made’ playing in the background, so the conversation ends up being, like,

‘Wait. What are they making here?’

‘I think it’s an immersion washer for machines used in medical procedures?’

‘Huh. It looks a lot like this things I once made for this project….’




It’s *SO MUCH BETTER* than having the fucking news on.

I love people.

On the Other Side

Last night, I was at work, and it was maybe 30 minutes before close.

In walks this guy, he’s on the phone. He gets in line behind these two ladies who have *no* idea what they want.

They finally figure their order out, and by the time the guy walks up to my register,

I have his drink out, and he has exact change for me.

He doesn’t even have to get off his mobile. I know him. I got it. He comes in all the time.

Coffee Shop Regular, baby.

It’s a beautiful thing.

Little Black Dress

A Little Black Dress

A magical, perfect  fit

Found in the roadway.





(I wanted to title this something like ‘Prom Queen Trash’ or something, because I found this dress *in the middle of the road*.

(Which, also, there is some really *bizarre* shit that I find in the roads here.

No fucking roadkill,

but really fabulous dresses?

Okay, Texas. Whatever does it for you…?)

But seriously. I look *excellent* in this dress. It’s *fantastic*. )


“Find a Little Black Dress” was actually on my bucket list.

This feels like the single best way to ever cross it off.

I didn’t find the dress: the dress found me.

Or something like that. ;)

Passing Up Crows

I was walking home the other day – it was dark, but I had an extra plastic bag in my backpack.

(I have a really bizarre assortment of shit that I always have in my backpack. It’s all really super useful all the time though, so whatevs. I’m prepared like that.)

Anyway, what should I find on the footpath, but a pair of crows.

Naturally, all I can think about is how much I WANT TO HAVE QUILLS.

So, being me, I immediately grab my plastic bag and a flashlight and set to see if I can get any useable feathers off these birds.


Then I realize that they’re covered in insects already.

And I’m still about a mile and a half from home.


Am I willing to carry a bag full of feathers that will be sprouting unknown insects for the next mile and a half?



No I am not.


Apparently I don’t want quills *that* badly…


But I still *really* want quills.


Dear Texas,




That is all.

English (Outside the Shops)

The other day I decided to walk to the shops (because I decided that it really would be worth it to pick up a corkscrew from the dollar store).

If the dollar store happens to be pretty much directly next to a pizza shop with *really* lovely cheese bread, that’s purely a coincidence.




I promise.


Anyway. I ended up sitting on the curb outside of the pizza shop, eating my seriously delicious  cheese bread, and a guy walked by. He saw me, and he was like ‘You don’t have anything to drink.’

To which I was like ‘…no? I don’t?’

then he went into the store and bought me pepsi. Which was weird, and very kind of him.

It turns out that he’s from Saudi Arabia, and he’s here to learn English. He talked about how he was having a really hard time finding people to talk to, so it was hard for him to get any real practice.

We ended up talking for nearly two hours.

We have tentative plans to meet up next week so I can help him study for his language course.

I am, after all, a certified English teacher.

This might turn out to be really fun. :D


A New Day

I don’t want to jinx anything, but I can’t  fight this feeling like maybe this is what it feels like to break a curse…







I love getting dirty.

And playing with toys.

(I’ve been meaning  to have some quality time with the guts of my Shadow, but I hadn’t found time.

I have definitely  done my digging  at this point.


She’s  beautiful and I’m  loving getting to know her.

Model Human Being (Part 3)

I woke up about, maybe five minutes before my shift started? and had the *most bizarre* walk of shame I have ever experienced, where I had to get walk across the room (which at this point was full of customers who were *also* hiding from the rain) and go to the back room to put on my work uniform.

My boss saw me and said “I felt kind of bad seeing you sleeping there. You looked like you were homeless. ”

to which I replied


And then I explained how I had spent my night.

So. *That* was pretty awesome.

I managed to get through the first half of my shift, but I was working a split. So. After finishing four hours, I had a three hour break, and then got to come back for another two and a half hours.

I got off work, and just wanted to go the fuck home.

I had my keys, and I just wanted to get my bike home, and be able to *open my fucking door*.


So, I went home, and (rather inevitably) fell asleep.

The thing is, I’m a notoriously *light* sleeper. I wake up at *everything*.

Except for that day, when I distinctly did not wake up to my alarm.


I woke up about 2 minutes after I should have been starting my shift.

So, I got on my bike and booked it back down to the coffeeshop.

My boss was walking through the parking lot when I got there. He saw me and was just like ‘You fall asleep?’ and I was just like. ‘..Yeah.’


At this point, I should mention that while I had remembered to charge my mobile, in my hurry to leave the apartment, I left it on my bed. Fully charged, and extremely helpful.

Right next to my bag, which I had deemed ‘Still To Wet’.


Anyway. So, I got through my final few hours of work and just wanted to be done.

I had visions of calling up some friends and hitting up some happy hour specials, because, at that point, I felt like I fucking deserved them.

I go to leave.

Only to realize that, once again, I cannot find my keys.

Because, again, I do not have my bag, with all of its handy pockets for keeping things where I can find them.

I search my work uniform, I search the office.

Finally, one of my co-workers says ‘Have you checked you motorcycle?’

I go out.

My keys are in my bike.

Which is now incredibly dead.

Because not only did I leave the keys in my bike, I left the fucking lights on.


Another one of my coworkers had just arrived with her boyfriend, who happened to park right next to my bike, and have a pair of jumper-cables in their car.


We then spent the next two hours trying to get my battery to take a charge.

We failed.


However, I have the best co-workers *ever*. So, they took me to a shop that charged batteries for free,  made plans to help me put in back in the next day.

Then they kidnapped me and took me out for dinner.

They then dropped me off at my house (where they watched me actually get in through the door before driving off) and I just went straight to bed.


Sometimes it seems like the best option.