Weddings and Musings

Yesterday I went to a wedding. It was really beautiful.

Two things in particular really stood out to me: the vows began with the phrase “I take you to be my best friend”.

Every couple that I know who have been married for decades and are still *happy*, they all say the same thing. “I married my best friend.”

To hear that acknowledged in a wedding, is, I think, really important.

The other thing that I liked very much is doing away with the phrase “you may now kiss the bride.” It was replaced with “you may now share your first kiss.”

Because brides are not objects to be given and kissed. Brides are women, who will hopefully be kissing back.

Women are not passive observers of their own lives, they are participants. Also, the only person who can ever give permission about being kissed is, shockingly, the person being kissed. 

So I think this is pretty much one of the best changes I’ve seen recently.

It’s the little things, but they matter.


The Passing of Things

There’s something about this idea of starting off with nothing which is bringing me to this idea that’s very different from what I’ve grown up with; this idea that possessions are transitory.

In my childhood the resource we had was space, not money. Things were kept for “just in case”, even if “just in case” was never, or “just in case” was for someone, generations down the road.  Things were kept from my childhood so they would be available for my hypothetical children.

I’ve found myself not wanting that cache. Stuff is an inevitable tie to a place. A dragon can never stray too far from its hoarde.

I’ve been living out of my car for a long time now, and I’m starting to feel ready to downsize. There is so much stuff that I’m carrying with me that I don’t really need.

I want to start somewhere new and I think that it will be easier if I stop thinking of all of the things that I used to have.

It’s just stuff. It comes and goes.

When something becomes a priority in my life, I will make space for the things that come  with it. Until that point, I can just…do without.

I’ve invested a lot in materials, which is investing in resources, but if I don’t use those resources, it’s not a good investment.

So: downsizing. Streamlining. Focusing on less.

It will be good. It will be different, and difficult, but, I suspect, very, very good.

A Flight of Nostalgia

Yesterday I found myself in the brilliant position of being able surprise a dear friend.

I called him, with the intention of being sneaky and subtly ascertaining his plans for the day, at which point I would crash them.

Instead, I sort of accidentally found myself in his town, without a car.

So I walked to his house and knocked on his door. It was brilliant. We went to our favourite local winery (where they have one dollar wine tastings). The man who owns the place remembered us. My friend and I went to his Wine Tasting 101, and ended up taking about 2 pages of notes. It was a brilliant evening. Everyone else getting a bit sloshed, and us, in the back corner, taking notes.

It was wonderful, being with people I love, walking familiar paths.

Trouble in the Engine Room

My Enterprise had some trouble in near space, so I had to get her checked out after docking.

One of the dilithium crystals cracked, and it managed to do some pretty serious damage to the nearest warp core.

The parts to repair the core and replace the crystal were found on a nearby planet, but to get them we had to trade some of our replicators.

Crew morale is low.

*For those of you who *don’t* watch Star Trek, just know this: Clusterpuff the Questing Beast needs care and attention, like any noble steed. Those who neglect their duties and in doing so cause her trouble will incur my wrath.

Points for Good Behaviour. Or Something.

In Wyoming, if you get pulled over, and have the truly unfortunate luck of getting landed with a speeding ticket (an entirely hypothetical situation, I assure you…) they give you a “good kid” discount for having your seat-belt on.

Can I get an extra discount for being a fantastically foxy lady?


The state that supplied my Driver’s License has a $308.00 fine for not having a seat belt on.

In Wyoming, it gets me a  discount.


Let’s hear it for positive reinforcement, I guess?

Bad Moon Rising

Last night I may or may not have sort of…broken in to the Badlands National Park.

It was a full moon – a “super moon”, and so, so beautiful.

Howling at the moon at midnight in the Badlands. I didn’t know it was on my bucket list until I did it.

It was cold and clear, and bright enough to make flashlights unnecessary. I just…sat on one of the benches in the moonlight.

It was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

This American Life

So, I feel as though I have managed to accomplish something really, quite truly American during my time here in Minnesota:

Riding a roller coaster that is  housed within a mall.

Then for dinner my friend and I went to the movie theater (also housed within the mall) and we split a tub of popcorn that was probably about four times the size of my *face*.

I don’t really go to malls often, I don’t really know what to do with myself when confronted with giant shrines to the gods of buying, but this was fun. Absurd, completely ridiculous in every way, absolutely over-the-top, but so much fun.


There was also a giant Lego store there, with some of the most incredible Lego statues I’ve ever seen. It was *amazing* (and LEGO!!!!).

Tires and Apartments

Yesterday, we were on our way to one of our final Apartment Showings, and we got caught in traffic, which was really not something I was expecting, as it was only four in the afternoon.

There was wreckage from an accident that had happened all across a major intersection, which certainly didn’t help.

It sent us on a bit of a detour to get to the office where we were meeting a woman who would take us around to the apartments we were looking at.

We got in her car, and took off. Back to the intersection where the accident had been.

The car we were in had to turn through the intersection, and it managed to hit a piece of debris. We stopped in front of an apartment we were planning to look at, but realized that one of the tires was deflating.

We ditched the plan of walking through the apartment and instead went with the plan of “can we get this car to a place that’s still open in the next fifteen minutes before business hours are over”.

We managed to be marginally successful. We found a car place that gave us a quick patch-job, and an appointment for a permanent fix the next day.

It ended up being quite an introduction to downtown Minneapolis. Just not one that was included in any kind of plan.

Ice Cream and Apartments

I was getting lost today in Minneapolis – seriously, there are like, six variants upon a theme of “4th” in this city. There’s “4th Ave.” “4th Ave. S.” “4th St.” “4th St. NE”. It’s completely absurd, and truly, deeply unhelpful. There also seems to be construction on pretty much every other street, which does not improve the situation at all.

Anyway. I was with my friend and we were on our way to meet a real-estate agent to look at some apartments  We were about 45 minutes late to our meeting already. We were at an intersection, where about half of the street was blocked off for construction. There was a guy with a bicycle, so we let him cross the street.

He came towards the car, so I rolled down my window, thinking maybe he was also lost and needed directions. He didn’t. Really, he’d bought a box of three ice cream bars, and, eating one himself, thought the best way to get his hands back to ride his bike was to give the remaining two bars to my friend and I.

It was *really* good ice cream.