Room-mate Exchange

The list of friends that I’m sharing my cottage with needs to be updated.

There is no longer a bat living here (which is good, because seriously. Rabies is a terrifying and *stable* disease, that *eats your brain*. No megusta.) however, it has been replaced with fuzzy caterpillars.

On the surface, this may seem like an upgrade. It. Is. Not.

I *hate* fuzzy caterpillars, due to a rather scarring incident when I was a small child, and I caught somewhere around 15  fuzzy caterpillars, brought them into the house, and did not secure them with…any form of lid, really. Naturally, they escaped, and I had phantom nightmares of fuzzy caterpillars in my bed for the next several *months* because we never freaking found the fuckers.

So now I avoid them whenever possible, which is difficult when they are my *room-mates*.

I do not appreciate them. I want them to go outside, and live happily in trees, or wherever it is that fuzzy caterpillars live when they are not sharing living space with *me*.

This being said…I am about to embark on a multi-month camping trip. It is highly likely that I should use this as a chance to condition myself out of this phobia.

I don’t think I will though. *shudder*.

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One thought on “Room-mate Exchange

  1. Hey it’s me IAN!
    This place has spiders~ And not like that one lovely sink-dwelling specimen I left you as a present, I mean SPIDERS. Most (I cannot stress enough how much I wish I was saying /all/ there) of the inside dwelling spiders are daddy longlegs. They are mostly friendly, but still incredibly large and spookily fast. However, there are…others, more agile and still hairier. I killed one last week by bludgeoning it repeatedly with scrap wood. Yes. I BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING STICK. But just last night, I was horrified by the LARGEST specimen I’ve ever encountered. This thing was easily the length of my index finger when fully stretched out, and o unholy demons he ran straight for me. I did not scream; this had nothing to do with self control, I was literally paralyzed by the spectacle of shuffling speeding mottled brown DEATH heading straight for me. I knocked over my chair and stepped on it – it disappeared. Frantic that I’d missed, I continued stomping until it scraped off the bottom of my shoe, unmoving. [Deep breaths] I could have won a gold medal in an Olympic event, even an event I know nothing about, such was the amount of adrenaline coursing through my system.
    So, I know your pain. I am deeply, deeply sorry.
    Cheers

    Like

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