Belt It Out

For whatever reason, I have some weird sense-memory of belts being really uncomfortable. The only reason I can think of for this is that at some point as a very small child I must have just…really done belts *wrong*.

Which is sad, because when belts are done properly, belts are actually raelly good at holding up pants.They’re not uncomfortable at all. They’re just a friendly invention that’s been hanging around (as it were) for pretty much as long as humans have been wearing clothes.

Also, belts are like, super useful.

Is there a convenient bar over the vat of acid you’re about to be lowered into? Just loop your belt over that sucker and hang on. You’ll be all set to escape and save the day from evil and destruction in no time!

Are you in the middle of a dubiously placed barn in an otherwise empty field that also happens to be directly in the path of an oncoming mega-twister? That’s okay! Belt yourself to some rusted pipes, and you’ll weather that storm with ease!

Did your buddy catch some shrapnel to the leg? Belts make great field tourniquets!

Seat*belts*. Just saying. They save lives.

Do you need to tie a would-be burgler to a chair whilst you wait for the police to arrive! Belt that shit!

Need to get stuff from one place to another? Conveyor belt! (Or if a herd of giraffes wants to move from Venus to Terre Haute, Indiana. (Or if a herd of giraffes wants to move anywhere else, for that matter.))

Car belts keep your car running.

Fan belts keep your fan running.

Blackbelts are masters of martial arts.

Black belts keep your partner tied to the bed. 😉

“Belt” is the only word that can be used to describe Idina Menzel at full power.

They’re super useful. They’re fashion accessories. They’re lifestyle indicators. They’re tools.

Today is Belt Appreciation Day in my world. Oh yeah.

 

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