I have hit that point at my cafe where I have become “One Of The Guys”, which is really fun, because it means that during the times when it’s absolutely empty and we won’t really have any customers for the next few hours, I get invited upstairs for a post-rush beer. 😀
I’m the only girl who is a member of the main staff. (I’m also the only member of the kitchen staff who speaks English as a first language, which is also really interesting, but not the point of this story.)
I’ve become Token Girl of the restaurant.
I’m not very good at being Token Girl, for many reasons. I’ve never really done the whole “femme” thing. I’ve always presented in a fairly masculine way, spending way more time getting dirty than “cleaning up”. I’ve never been overly concerned with attracting a person to date. My idea of a good time is far more likely going to involve power tools than nail polish.
So, when the conversation sounds something like “We’ve been dating for ages and she won’t sleep with me!” and I’m asked “You’re a girl! Why do they do that?”
and I’m just like…”dude. really? I have no idea. I can only say that *I* have never been interested in sleeping with you, and as I can really only speak for myself as a woman, I guess it makes sense to me.”
At which point I usually get something thrown at me (which I often throw back, and then they have to duck, because I may be girl, but I played outfield for a lot of years, and it shows, baby).
It’s a bit strange to have this dichotomy of at once being “one of the boys” and then also “Token Girl”, because I’m not so “girly” as to be off-putting during Bro-Time or whatever, but I’m also expected to be the Voice of Feminine Wisdom or something.
It’s not a new place for me to be, but it’s not somewhere that I’ve been recently, and it’s a very different place to be with my current feelings on feminism and social justice in general.
Long story short: I freaking love mah boys, and occasionally need to be set straight about things (as it were). They do the same. It’s fantastic.