I am attending a wedding which is the most together production I have ever seen. (This makes sense as it’s being put on by a bunch of terrifying competent Theatre People, and they understand the importance of attention to detail, communication, and just getting stuff done.
It is one of the most low-stress event that I have ever been witness to in my entire life. (Which is crazy, because…wedding. Most stories I hear about weddings involve things not working, and people crying, and fights happening and everything falling apart… just. Yeah. Not awesome.)
Aside from the insane precision and aplomb, the bride is also super chill. She’s just…not fussed about stuff. We’ve made lists of lists, and have contingency plans and emergency boxes, and everything feels really taken care of.
This being said…there is one list of THINGS THAT ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE.
This list has three items:
1) NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO PLAY RAINS OF CASTEMERE.
(The body-count of this wedding will be ZERO.)
2) The best man is not allowed to fulfill his SLAP-BET with the groom DURING THE WEDDING.
(If this happens, the maid of honour will launch one of the bridesmaids at the best man, and he shall be replaced by them, as is proper in Klingon law.)
3) The catering MUST SHOW UP.
(Because our backup plan for that is going to Costco and buying a barrel of peanut-butter filled pretzels for every table, and while those are delicious, it will make the alcohol hit a lot harder.)
Peanut Butter filled Pretzels: Delicious, but not a meal.