Stupid Drunk Boys

I have… a rather intense way of dealing with unwanted drunken attention, which is to just…not accept it.

I’ll be sitting on a chair, and a guy will sit directly next to me, and I’ll just…push him off. Usually I make a simple declarative statement like “Nope.” or “I am sitting here.”

Sometimes they say things like “I’m so drunk and horny”, and, well, usually I’m behind the bar so I can’t actually say “That’s nice. There are trees outside that you can rub on. I promise to laugh when you come back with splinters.”

I can, however, ignore them with enthusiasm.

 

It is singularly effective.

 

(A side note about the psychology of this: this is a tactic often used in animal training, it’s really quite passive-aggressive but insanely efficient. It’s called the Least Reinforcing Syndrome. I don’t really recommend it if you ever want to be able to build an actual functioning relationship with a person, because I find that *communication* is how to create understanding which, in turn, leads to actually being able to have *future* interactions with a person, but I digress. For a night out? L.R.S., ladies. L.R.S.)

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