I have…a lot of feelings about this blog. It’s really important to me. I do my best to keep it updated and interesting… it’s become kind of a standard part of my life. I bring my laptop down to the roadhouse, where I can actually get a connection, and people say “Ahh, checking email?” and I say “No. I blog.”
Sometimes, I say things on this blog that seem…a little bit scary to be posting. Like, how honest am I really wanting to be, where *anyone* could see, for all of time?
then I remember:
I’m trying to write the blog that I wish I could’ve been reading.
I mean… that’s what we call things on the internet. They’re “communities”. People can come together from all over the world, they can learn from each other, they can read experiences that aren’t their own.
There are a lot of places where I’ve seen people edge around topics; just leave vague wording behind that can be taken in any number of ways. In-group writing, where the people who already know what it means *know* what it means.
I had a conversation with my wondertwin a while ago, about labels. I haven’t really stopped thinking about it.
I have a tendency to cling to labels. I like words that I can throw out, so I don’t have to explain things. I like these terms that I can pull close like security blankets. “There are enough people who feel like this that we have a name.” “This is my label, this is my group. These are my people, the ones that I belong to.”
That’s all from my own life and my own perception of how life works and how to create safe spaces, meet good people and pursue happiness.
There’s not a right way to live. There’s only what works for you, as an individual.
Working at the Roadhouse, I get a question quite often, “What did you used to do?” I usually say “I blog”.
I don’t feel like I have an answer. Nothing I can say really feels like the truth.
I can say “I do this-and that.” or “I fix things”.
but that’s not what people are looking for. They’re looking for “I was a student” or “I’m a carpenter by trade” or “I worked in an office.”
I…don’t feel like I can say any of that.
I say “I’m a wanderer”. I say “I’m a bard.”
But that doesn’t mean the same thing to people. I don’t have a thing that I can say that has any cultural shorthand behind it.
I’m mostly okay with it, but it’s a little weird.
I also don’t see it really changing any time soon.
In the meantime…. I blog.