Child Wrangler

A “Child Wrangler” is the name for the person who ended up packing colouring books and lollies backstage for a theatre that I worked for, whenever a production involved people under the age of twelve.

This was *never* my job.

I am now in a position of being a sort of…part-time au pair? Which is sort of the worst possible combination for me, because everything I know about human behaviour I learned from psychology books. I get told things like “Watch them. This thing happens a lot, and don’t let it happen.”

And I’m just like “…how? How do you want me to accomplish that? Because it will not be how you accomplish it.”

I don’t like being put in a position of authority over kids, when there is also parenting  happening.

I am not a parent.

I have no desire to *be*  a parent at this point in my life – note: why I do not have children.

I am not here long enough to understand the base behaviours of a child, so I don’t want to have to tell a child that they’re doing something wrong. *I* don’t know the rules yet. I’m not going to be able to tell a kid that they’re breaking them.

There’s a reason that I don’t take jobs with “kids” in the description.

 

…le sigh.

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