I’m heading to Cambodia in six days.
It’s weird. I’m…not totally sure how I feel about that decision.
(That’s actually not true. I kind of have the feeling that it’s not a very good decision.)
I’m going to get certified in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, which seems like a decent thing to be certified in, I guess, but also like I’m becoming a perpetrator of Imperialism. So… That’s a thing.
It’s also strange because…I want to go to Cambodia. I want to travel and explore the country. I don’t know if this is how I want to do it.
I also don’t know if I really want to *live* there for a long time.
My plan at this point is to be there for a year.
I keep thinking “What am I going to be doing for a year?”
Teaching is something that I do a lot better with in small groups, or one-on-one. I don’t really want to be charged with a giant class full of small children. (Or any small children at all, for that matter.)
I sort of planned this out coming from the only imperative being “BE SOMEWHERE NOT HERE”, and…Cambodia is definitely not my home town.
But…that’s kind of a thin reason. I need to find something else here that builds towards the life that I actually want to be living.
I don’t know. I’ll figure myself out eventually.