I was walking home the other day – it was dark, but I had an extra plastic bag in my backpack.
(I have a really bizarre assortment of shit that I always have in my backpack. It’s all really super useful all the time though, so whatevs. I’m prepared like that.)
Anyway, what should I find on the footpath, but a pair of crows.
Naturally, all I can think about is how much I WANT TO HAVE QUILLS.
So, being me, I immediately grab my plastic bag and a flashlight and set to see if I can get any useable feathers off these birds.
Then I realize that they’re covered in insects already.
And I’m still about a mile and a half from home.
Am I willing to carry a bag full of feathers that will be sprouting unknown insects for the next mile and a half?
No I am not.
Apparently I don’t want quills *that* badly…
But I still *really* want quills.
WHY DO YOU HAVE NO ROADKILL OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS *TEXAS*.
THERE SHOULD BE ROADKILL.
That is all.