Lack of Balance

I think that one thing I have never been accused of in my life would anything remotely in the direction of being particularly well-balanced in my lifestyle. I have very strong tendencies towards ‘all-or-nothing’ (Or perhaps, more like ‘EVERYTHING-UNTIL-YOU-BURN-OUT’ as I feel is probably a little bit more personally accurate.)

A lot of what I’ve been trying to do lately is seek balance.

(Obligatory Dinotopia reference: Breathe deep. Seek peace.)

I’ve gotten a new job, which is good.

Sort of.

sort of….hypothetically.

Really what’s happened is I feel like I’ve traded everything I was doing for an entirely new lifestyle, and that… was very much not my intention.

I need to figure out how to care for myself, and that involves having a job, and having that structure; that place in society, and filling that need of ‘being useful’.

I can’t do that at the expense of every other need though, and I feel like that’s most of what the work culture is in the U.S.A.

Just. Put the ‘work’ need in front of EVERY OTHER NEED, or even better, pretend those other needs don’t even exist!!!

I think it’s another one of those ‘life things’ that a person does forever, maybe. Because needs change, so balancing them changes too.

 

Right now, though, I definitely feel as though my pendulum has swung, and I am far, far away from where I was less than a fortnight ago.