To Mexico!

A conversation that happened in my life:

 

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“I dunno.”

“I’m bored.”

“Wanna go somewhere?”

“Sure. Where?”

“How about Mexico?”

“Yes.”

“What are we going to do there?”

“….Get tacos?”

“Excellent.”

 

…so we did. And they were delicious.

Oreo Brownies

Yesterday (for the poetry potluck) I made my first attempt at oreo brownies.

My conclusion for next time: more oreos!!!!

 

 

(for those curious, I just mashed up half a box of oreos, and added it to box brownie mix, along with some extra cocoa powder and some vanilla. Otherwise. Instructions. 😀 )

SALAD STAND-OFF

My place of work serves food, and everyone who works there gets one food-item comped per shift.

My place of work *technically* has salads, but never, ever has more than two.

The salad is the most common thing for me to eat, because, hey! Nutrient-dense food I don’t have to pay for! Awesome!

Unfortunately, there is a guy at work right now, who *also* usually eats the salad.

(and if given the chance, he’ll eat them *both*)

[insert death glare here].

 

I honestly don’t think that a *customer* has managed to get a salad in the past month that I’ve been working there.

However, there is a bit of a cold-war that has started.

Creative placement, or sometimes even just whoever gets there earliest buy it, writes their name all over it and leaves it in the fridge in the back.

Things have genuinely gotten hidden.

It’s fucking *hilarious*.

Like. Sometimes, I’ll be working and he’ll come in, and he’ll just give me this *look*, and ask for a fucking fork, and I’m just like.

‘If you don’t leave me one. I will *destroy* you.’

 

It’s beautiful.

MORE FREE FOOD

I apparently have a favourite pizza place.

(I know I have a favourite pizza place. It’s the one that’s open late.)

And apparently, *I* am a favoured customer.

 

And, to put this in perspective, I’m pretty sure I’ve only been there four times? Like. This isn’t my coffee shop situation.

But, I went there once at one in the morning, and I knew all the songs on the radio, and the woman working there noticed that I don’t sound like I’m from Texas, and I told her I’d just moved from Cambodia, and she told me that she’d moved here from South Africa.

It was a good night.

 

And I went back, and she was all ‘Hello!’ and I was like ‘Why do you remember me?’ and she said she always remembers people who like her music.

And I said that I always remember South Africans I meet in Texas.

And then I wound up walking out with free pizza.

 

MY LIFE IS SO MAGICAL.

I LOVE PEOPLE.

RAIN OF FREE FOOD

Tonight the heavens opened, and rained free food down upon me.

(Meaning I worked a job that got over-catered, and I got to take a bunch of it home with me!!!!)

It is beautiful.

(And delicious.)

 

I’m pretty sure I have enough food to last me, like, at least a week right now?

 

Yes!!!

Sweet Tea Vs. *TEA*

I…am a tea snob.

I’m honestly pretty proud of it. (Though honestly, I was indoctrinated into the church of Yorkshire Gold, and see no reason to turn my back to Glory.)

But.

Folk here in Texas *really* like sweet tea.

Now, if you’ve never had sweet tea, just imagine this: Take “tea”. Not *good* tea. Don’t bother using something that you actually want to be able to taste. Get the most shit, cheapest tea available.

Like, dollar-store tea.

Then, imagine this tea has been oversteeped to hell and back.

Why had this tea been oversteeped to hell and back?

Because, while it’s hot, they dump in a metric *fuckton* of sugar.

Like, maybe one cup of sugar to every cup of water in your tea.

For starters.

Some people add more to taste.

 

Anyway.

 

The point is:  I work at a place where tea and coffee are sold.

The other day, I had just gotten off work, and decided to have a nice cup of tea.

Only, I wasn’t paying attention, and I accidentally wound up with *sweet tea*.

 

*shudder*.

 

HOW CAN SOMETHING WITH THAT MUCH SUGAR IN IT STILL BE BITTER AS FUCK.

I was practically *shaking* from the sugar content.

and it was so bitter.

 

I DON’T GET IT.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND SWEET TEA.

I’M SORRY.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Texan Ranch

I walk into a pizza shop. I order. I get asked “It comes with ranch on the side. Is that alright or would you like something else?”

I’m like. “Can I get marinara?” And they’re wonderful, and pleasant and say yes.

 

I get Teriyaki chicken. I get told “It comes with ranch on the side. Is that alright or would you like something else?”

WHY???!!??!?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.

Isn’t teriyaki *already* a sauce? Why is more sauce necessary?

Buffalo wings? Come with ranch

Potato skins? Come with ranch.

 

 

At this point, I almost feel like it’s an un-American opinion to have, but I don’t actually *like* ranch very much.

 

WHY IS IT EVERYWHERE.

IT’S INESCAPABLE.

 

TEXAS.

TEXAS.

TEXAS RANCH.

 

 

WHY.

American Grocery Stores

I have gotten in to the habbit of always going shopping on Saturday afternoons.

Why?

ALL OF THE GROCERY STORES HERE HAVE *AMAZING* SAMPLES.

Would you like to try some hummus?

How about some Chili made with Bacon Jam? What the fuck is that, even. YES.

Try this fajita. Okay!

Samples of *sushi*? YES.

 

I don’t need to worry about shopping whilst hungry, because I get fed by the store.

 

Dear Whoever Started Putting Samples in Stores,

Thank you. You deserve every good feeling that life can produce.